Working with influences

I think the most obvious thing about the things I look at, listen to, read, etc, is that there is something attractive about the work at first, and then there is something that lets me stay and explore the work more- there isn't a particular type of work that is more attractive to me than other work.

But in general, my relatitionship with these works isn't emulation- in fact, I am usually also unsettled but most work, in that it comes up short- I think this dissatisfaction is what drives me to make my own work, that whatever I'm making will satisfy what I am looking for. Someone had asked Eugene Chadrourne why he makes the music he does, and his answer was "because no one else is."

A good portion of my time is taken up with the search for new art, new music, new things to read. This consumption time is offset with the production in my studio, somewhere in between being the processing of this.

Another thought is thinking about influences as looking at them for what is missing, not what is there- I think when I was in undergrad, I remember making work that was very derivitive of Rauschenberg, Cornell, etc, looking at what I liked and emulating it. Looking at that work now, it seems really derivitive, but I also think I really liked the work of Rauschenberg and Cornell, and was trying to figure it out, instead of trying to do so as an art historian. So maybe not great work, but trying to find a voice through someone else's work- at some point you realize this and stop...

So now, I think, while there are things about people's work I really like, more often I'm aware of what's missing, and try to address that in my work. An example would be when I was in Berlin- with the art forum and other side events, I saw thousands of pieces of work, but very little of it seems to have everything I would like to see in work- in fact, by looking at so much work, it made seeing what was absent much more obvious. It definitely made it obvious what was trendy...

Okay, this is a little rambly, but I thought I'd get the ball rolling...